I once dated a boyfriend who enjoyed the good life but was reluctant to pay. I mentioned a professor from my university who taught in town and stayed alone at a hotel.

My boyfriend, very sociable, reached out and invited the professor to an upscale dinner. At the restaurant, he ordered many dishes for the professor to try. When the bill came—an expensive one—my boyfriend conveniently left for the bathroom and didn’t return for over half an hour, forcing the professor to pay.

Later, after I started my first job and shared my excitement over my salary, my boyfriend claimed he needed to pay for something but couldn’t go to the bank. I lent him my card, expecting it back the next day. While he did return it, the account was empty. He had gone out for a lavish night, including dinner and buying an expensive suit. It took me years to see that blind love had kept me from realizing he was a deadbeat.